12.6.09: Sleep training

I am often asked what a typical day is like with newborn triplets and I realized as the girls get older, schedules change. My favorite question is 'How do you do it?' and my response is always 'My husband and I are a team and we don't know any different.' We are blessed to have these healthy girls and will do what it takes to nurture them as well as we can. As we approach celebrating six months with our girls, I thought it was appropriate to reflect on our schedule thus far:

Feeding:

Within the first month of everyone being home we had the girls on a strict four hour feeding schedule - 7, 11, 3, 7, 11, 3 (thanks to the NICU who initiated this schedule). This meant that Brant and I (and anyone else who was staying with us or lived near us) woke up at least once in the middle of the night for the hour long feeding. Yes, it takes two people nearly an hour to feed/change all three babies.

In the past month, we have kept with the four hour schedule during the day time but instead of waking up the girls to feed them at 3am, we let them wake us up. It is not always the funnest way to wake up to a screaming baby but often it meant that Brant and I would get an extra hour of sleep. When someone woke up, we wake up the other two girls and feed everyone. There is no way to sustain a feed-on-demand schedule for triplets - you would never quit feeding, NEVER.

Sleeping:

When spending time in the NICU, it is always daytime. The lights are always on and often tests/procedures are done during the nighttime when there are the fewest visitors. So when you bring your babies home from the NICU, you often have to reverse the sleeping pattern and begin to slowly turn the lights down when it is nighttime. While we encouraged the girls to sleep at night, they often woke up in search of their binkies or a snack. For the first couple months, we basically had someone sleep with the girls and took shifts assisting when needed. By the time we got to CA, the girls began to sleep in their own room and we no longer had an on-call person. Instead Brant or I would get up and assist when needed.

Eventually Brant and I split up the night because the need of binkies and snacks was too frequent. Before the 3am feeding I would get up for each cry and after Brant would - remember there are three babies, that's three times the amount of crying too. While the idea of this was that one of us could get a straight three hours of sleep at some point during the night, we were still very exhausted.

As for napping the girls did it whenever, wherever and however frequently they desired. When alone with the girls during the day, I found that I could handle two girls ok, but three girls (especially when upset) was very difficult. So this is why I never initiated a nap time. I preferred the idea of random nappings as it usually meant someone was asleep. Of course, this meant that from the time I woke up until the time we put them to bed, it was non-stop babies.

Pumping:

Since the girls were born and I was trying to produce enough milk for three babies (who were too small to nurse), I pumped every three hours for about a half hour. Unfortunately the girls never took to nursing, they got too used to bottles - thus began my long term relationship with my pump. This continued until about August when I changed to pumping every four hours to be timed nicely with the girls eating every four hours. While this adjustment allowed me to sleep a bit more, it was difficult for me to be alone with the girls as I had to keep them calm and happy while pumping. Keeping three babies calm is a big task, even more so with limited hand availability.

In October, I was convinced to cut down on my pumping (especially after Brant pointed out that I had produced enough milk to fill a 50 gallon garbage can in just four months). I was beginning to go crazy - it was time. I spent so many hours a day pumping and feeding babies that I wasn't able to have as much 'play time' as I would have liked. I spent at least three hours a day pumping + all the time for bottle/pumping supply preparation/storage which doesn't count the time to actually feed the babies. I gave the girls four good months of 5/6 milk and 1/6 formula per day and they were growing well with (thankfully) no health issues.

Eventually I cut back to pumping three times a day for 20 minutes - it feels like a world of difference as I gained a good two hours back each and every day. It meant that I only had to balance two babies on a jumbo boppy pillow and one in a bouncer chair while pumping ONCE a day when Brant was working. This balancing act was beginning to get to be more challenging as the girls started to like rolling and squirming around. The girls were getting about 4/6 milk and 2/6 formula - not too bad considering their mom was a bit more sane.

Then my world changed forever:

When meeting with our pediatrician she alerted us of the need to sleep train the girls. Apparently it is around this time (4-6 months) that babies can begin to 'control' the situation. She warned us that we needed to get control of sleeping and napping now. If we waited too much longer, it would take weeks to train the girls rather than days. That is all we needed to hear, our ears perked up. I couldn't continue on getting up several times in the night and getting so little sleep and neither could Brant. So after a big discussion and even more anxiety we initiated this 'training'. We knew they would be too young to remember it now and wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. So what is sleep training? Well I guess there are several ways to do it, but we went with the quick and dirty method. Decide on a schedule (based on the suggestion of our pediatrician) and implement. The girls would sleep from midnight until 7am - no 3am feeding.

The next step in our 'training' was establishing nap times. Our pediatrician pointed out that if the girls were in daycare they would have two 2-hour naps a day. Previously, I honestly had no idea who was napping how much, I was just thankful when everyone was calm. The idea of a nap time (let alone two) sounded dreamy. I thought to myself: I get two breaks during the day? I can shower every day? I can eat with both hands? I can go to the bathroom without someone screaming? These were all foreign concepts to me unless we had company in town helping.

Once we initiated nap time, my world changed for good - there is no going back now. I am now able to pump during their afternoon nap without juggling any babies. I don't even know what to do with myself. Sometimes, I watch tv and sometimes I just sit and enjoy the quiet time. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy. There was crying - a lot of crying. One night Brant even found me in the closet sitting on the floor crying, because I felt so horrible about letting the girls cry. I swore I would never let the girls just 'cry it out' but our pediatrician assured us that no trauma would be inflicted on the girls. It took all we had to get through the first week. Thankfully, as I write this we are past week one and things are definitely getting better. There is still crying, but it is much less. The girls seem to like the structure and seem ready for their naps when they are due (which does not mean they enjoy the two hour long nap time). There is still some whining the first ten minutes of napping/bedtime but typically this whining subsides. With this new structure our awake time is much more intense, but I have the energy for it because I am not nearly as burnt out. Quality time over quantity of time. The main reward besides sanity and downtime I get from this schedule is the gigantic grin I get from each girl when naptime is over. It is something I cherish. Those big smiles make it all worth while.

No complaints, no looking back. In the past six months, we did what we needed to and we are glad that we did. Now we start a new chapter which involves more structure and thankfully more sleep. This is one huge advantage to having our family all at once, we are done with the early months forever.

12.4.09: You look gorgeous

I have previously mentioned how Daphne loves to lick everything (and everyone) with a personal preference for freckles. While changing Fiona, I looked down to see Daphne in the mirrored closet hallway licking herself. I couldn't stop laughing. Note to self, clean the mirrors :)


Fiona loves playing with her board books, even turning the pages sometimes. Clearly she is already speed reading - or at least this picture looks that way.


Stella was modelling her new seasonal hat. This hat MAY have been washed in an inappropriate manner which turned the white rim into pink. Luckily, this red and (newly) pink hat looks wonderful on our girls.

12.3.09: Derivations of chunk

Today the girls had their 6 month checkup and they are doing great. We are well within the normal range for a baby girl of full gestation - a huge accomplishment for our babies who arrived six weeks early. Our pediatrician was thrilled with their growth.

Stella: 13lbs 9oz, 25" (birth: 4lbs 9oz, 17.25")
Fiona: 14lbs 0oz, 25.5" (birth: 4lbs 13oz, 18.75")
Daphne: 15lbs 2oz, 26.5" (birth: 4lbs 14oz, 18")

We are going to start solids (well really ' runny mush') soon. I can't believe it is already food time. We even bought a special table with three seats cut out instead of having three separate highchairs (less to clean too).

I can't believe the girls have almost tripled in size already. When your babies start of extremely small, you celebrate every ounce gained. You count the number of days it takes to get up to a normal birth weight. If you held our babies around their birth, then you know how small they were. You can definitely see in the pictures. Well lately Brant and I have been loving how heavy the girls are getting. We have lovingly come up with nicknames to cheer them on when they do a good job eating: Stella 'Little Chunk', Fiona 'Chunk' and Daphne 'Super Chunk'. I realize these names could be insulting to most children, but for our babies we celebrate each chubby check, extra chin, any and all plumpness that they acquire.

12.2.09: One year ago

It was one year ago today that Brant and I first saw three tiny blinking dots (aka heartbeats) in the ultrasound. What a wild and crazy year it has been.

11.28.09: Holiday preview

Today (for several hours in the Robertson household) it was Christmas time. We attempted to get some photos of the girls in their holiday dresses (yes, this is their second dress ever) for our Christmas card. We quickly remembered how hard it is to get three babies smiling (or even looking at the camera) at the same time. After several rounds of pictures we completed the photo shoot and the dresses went back onto the hanger with minimal drool additions.

What is most noteworthy in these photos is how much hair Fiona (green) and Stella (red) have grown lately. We no longer look like a 'before' picture of a rogaine commercial. Instead, we are beginning to show our light brown locks. Daphne (blue) has always had quite a bit more hair than her sisters in more of a reddish tone. Time will only tell what color the girls will end up with, but for now we are just excited that they are finally growing hair.

11.26.09: Ooh la la

(Left to right: Fiona, Daphne, Stella)

Today the girls wore their first dresses. Of course they couldn't wear just any dresses, instead (showing their preference for fine European attire already) they wore dresses that Matt picked out while visiting France.

For thanksgiving, we went over to the Desai home to hang out with family. Although we had to leave before dinner (due to the girls' bedtime) we still left with a TON of vegetarian thanksgiving food. Once everyone was asleep, Brant and I enjoyed our yummy home cooked meal and even leftovers the next day.

11.20.09: Date nights

With Grandy still in town due to Brant's trip to Germany, we had to take advantage of our willing babysitter. Brant and I got out of the house TWICE for what we called Date Nights! One night we went to dinner and the second we went to have a drink and dessert (yes, this breastfeeding mom has the occasional drink). We have figured out that if we feed the girls and get them into bed, then we can escape for a good couple hours before we feed everyone again. This means our babysitter (aka Grandy), just has to handle binkie reinsertion and the occasional snack. It also means that Brant and I get to go out to spend time together without the girls or a list of errands to run, a true treat.

11.18.09: Mama is siiiiiick

I got really sick late last week like I haven't been sick in some time. I had a fever of 102 for a couple days and couldn't eat anything for even more. My mom was in town as Brant was heading to Germany on Saturday but with me down for the count, we had to call in another backup. Bonnie flew out to help with the girls while I attempted to recover as quickly as possible. My mom did a great job taking care of the babies, but it is just too much at night for one person (which is why my mom was here while Brant was gone in the first place). I was SO worried that I would give the girls my illness or my mom. If either of those happened, then we really would have been a mess. Thankfully with Bonnie flying out shortly after Brant's departure, my mom was able to handle the girls (and me) and no one else got sick (phew!). A short week later and I am feeling much better, but it really brings to light how important your health is when you are taking care of three little babies.

Thanks grandmas! We could not have done it without you!

11.12.09: Spectacle

(Stella pink, Fiona brown, Daphne white)

Have you ever seen one of those triplet strollers? The ones that are three seats long? Well thanks to another triplet mom that I met in the M.O.Ms group, we are now the very proud owners of one of these strollers. I can get through doorways with ease and once I master the navigational challenges, this stroller is going to make my daily walks a bit easier as I will no longer need to carry one kid (via wrap or bjorn). I have learned that this is a stroller that I use when I know the path I am going as it is a bit bigger than normal. So already, I have found a use for both strollers. The twin stroller + carrying one baby is great for bigger crowds and unknown destinations while the triplet stroller is great for our daily walks and picking up daddy from work.

I actually thought this new stroller would draw more attention when walking around town as compared to the twin stroller, but I think I was wrong. Turns out people are better able to see the three babies in the triplet stroller and I get fewer questions (more looks, but fewer questions). With the twin stroller, I get a lot of 'Triplets?' Perhaps people are better able to count to three (as they see the babies in the triplet stroller) rather than adding two plus one (as the twin stroller + carrying a baby requires more math). Who knows.

11.11.09: Five months old

(left to right Fiona, Daphne, Stella - please note for the first time no one is screaming in the monthly photo)

Today the girls turned five months old. I can't believe it! Where has the time gone? In the past month they have learned to roll like crazy, started to grab things and giggle amongst other fantastically rewarding milestones. We estimate they weigh between 12-14 pounds and are a solid two feet tall. They are really beginning to show their personalities. Stella loves to talk and smile, Daphne loves to lick and jump and Fiona loves to examine and study things. We really have three unique girls and watching their personalities blossom is amazing.